by Allyson Lipkin

The Viper Room, the Troubadour, The Roxy Theatre, House of Blues. All big names, immortalized by movie stars, rock stars, and hip-hop rappers. All I could think about while driving around West L.A. last week was how Lou Reed sings about the "Dirty Boulevard" on the other coast. Here on Hollywood's decrepit street lined with trashed buildings and tourists. How the Pharcyde sings, "Down to House of Blues and I slid in free, tennis shoes, tee-shirt and no I.D." Wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, I was looking around for Heather Locklear, Carmen Electra, Joaquin Phoenix, whomever looked like a star. I found none. Everybody is in the biz and eager as hell to talk about it. That's when you know they're phonies, though, and one should place stock in these interesting characters.

My probing question was, bands have to pay...to play? This exciting capitalist idea was obviously conceived by some higher-up: a corporate superexec or maybe a sleazy club hound. Fascinating as it was, I had to call the Viper Room and inquire about it. They of course did not return my phone call.

But I got some perspective from my friend Rod Sherwood of the Los Angeles-based band Sumac. "Oh, yeah, we don't have to pay to play anymore. We've got a big enough crowd now so we don't have to."

"But that is such a cheesy policy," I said.

"Yeah, but it weeds out a lot of the really bad bands."

I disagree from what I saw one night at The Mint -- The Mark Gable Band. This band was together, but the music was downright atrocious. Big hair, tight pants, and horrendously exaggerated facial expressions really turn me off. The other bands were OK ... the buzz was about Ginger Sol. They were tight and nicely dressed but kind of generic.

The Mint is one of the cool clubs in L.A. that a band needn't pay to play. It also had a recording studio next to the stage. To pay to play means that the club basically rents the space to the band, kind of like if you were to rent out a country club for your own private affair. They sell you the tickets so that your band in turn must sell them out or give them away. (One ad in the LA Weekly, Mindflower. Live at the Viper Room. Free tickets. Call 323-660-1633.) So this band had to rent the space, give tickets away, advertise a quarter-page ad in the weekly, and they still probably suck and no one will show up. I guess you have to start somewhere.

As a working local musician, I see this extra work as a hassle. I personally feel that it is the club's responsibility to advertise all their shows. The club and the band should work together to get people to come out -- the band through word of mouth and flyers, and the club with their ambiance, advertising, and target group of hipsters or cheddar-heads. Whomever. The point is that it is pretty belittling to bands that are starting out. L.A. is obviously more commercial than our sweet alternative underground, and there the idea is to sign on the line and start recording big hits.

I would say the same of Austin, but somehow this town seems more savvy than that. There are ways to cause a stir here even if you're not, let's say, The Damnations. You can make your own video and broadcast it on AMN. You can play live on our local stations, KUT, KOOP and KVRX. You can use this experience to get a gig at SXSW, and automatically you have at least an ounce of respect, all over the country.

The uptown L.A. scene does two things. First, it makes things very competitive, which is not a bad thing, and it makes live performances a special occurrance. Many bands play showcases with three, four or five other bands that start in the early evening, and my experience was that people do show. They actually leave their houses when it's still light outside for some buzzing showcase with a newly signed pop-rocker. This makes bands more serious about their presentation, and they come prepared. With competition like Secret Chiefs of Mr. Bungle, Eagle Eye Cherry (Don Cherry's pop rock son), the Spice Girls, Ice-T, Roy Hargrove or the Propellorheads, all of which were playing the week I was in town (among many others), I can understand the need for a booking agent. The town is massive.

Touring acts do not have to follow this pattern of paying for playing. If you have a press kit and a CD, EP or really good demo, you can send it out to clubs and if you're obnoxiously persistent, they will set you up with a showcase. You will not get paid well, unless you're Fastball or Celine Dion. But Jimmy Burdine of local homies Brown Whornet said they played there four times on there recent West Coast tour, and got paid from $20 to $80 each gig. There was not a guarantee at any of these venues, but at least they didn't get screwed out of anything or get their equipment stolen.

I am not trying to imply that LA is all cheeze. I really loved it there. I'm sure there are some really cool underground scenes taking place in Compton or Silverlake. Some rocking house party with a Phat DJ dance jam. I would rather have been at that party; chilling with Beck, whom I saw at Swingers restaurant...